My Brain Just Cringed…

I checked my Blog Stats just this minute (measly and pathetic though they are) and scrolled down to see if anyone found it by way of a search engine. Just curious, as always.
They did.
The term that brought them to my page:
“pick and eat your boogers real picturs”
Glorious, isn’t it?
I read it, read it again, and [...]

Reappearing Momentarily

Miss me?
Sure you did. Fucking liar.
Mostly the well ran dry. Also I figure I’d give you a break from reading this nonsensical bullshit and giving yourself a headache.
But now I’m back. For the moment. So Uh-oh all over you.
Things have been quite quiet here, sitting in my little chair (it swivels!–yea, so what?). So I [...]

Note To Self

Sue makers of Scotch tape. The Esteban Chord Chart won’t stay put on the wall.
Good-for-nothing.

Thought I’d Ask

Ever been fucked so good that you’re afraid to put your socks back on, for fear of them just being knocked right off again?…
Just a question.
On a sidenote, there are no “gentle” laxatives. In case you’re wondering.

The Leech

Everyone at one point or another has that one person, someone who you may meet by accident in a grocery store, on the school bus, when they kick your bathroom stall open and demand you stop pissing and pay attention to them, whatever. This person proceeds to integrate him/herself into your life, and then all [...]

Sucks for My Cheap Ass

I’ve got a huge bone to pick with Michelina’s Lean Gourmet Roasted Red Pepper Spaghetti. It’s delicious for $1.50, I’ll give it that. The spaghetti is great, but for one thing: the green beans. I have a specific regimen when it comes to my green beans. They have to be French-cut. No, this isn’t some [...]

Happy New Year!
Now take your fucking Christmas lights down.